Well today I was truly blessed to be invited to go with my nephew and sister-in-law to go to the TCU bookstore and tour the TCU campus (on our own). Now my nephew is going to be in the 7th grade next year, but we are getting a jumpstart on showing him that his DREAM is possible if he applies himself. While I know this trip was about Kaleb, I became very motivated about my future as well....
Most of you that know me know that I really wasn't a big fan of school... well maybe just the work part, hence me withdrawing from classes early, not going to classes, and then altogether dropping out of school and joining the Marine Corps.... but NOW is a totally different story!
I will be honest and say that most of the time i based my school choices around a boy (the ones i was dating at the time of attending school). First I moved to Arlington, TX to attend UTA (which i loved!) but moved home to be closer to Ashley, in hindsight, it was the best decision I ever made because it allowed me so much more time with him, time that I cherish everyday... the second time i tried to attend school i was too worried about the boy i was dating and what he was doing to even make it thru the semester....lame! All that led me to join the USMC, meet my husband, and allowed me to go back to school with an amazing support system (my husband, my daughter, & my Ollie). I, at first wanted to settle and do the easiest thing i could, but nope.... my husband believes in pushing me to my greatest, in living up to his strong Italian Name... in being a MANETTA... and he asked me what i really wanted to be.... I said an Orthodontist... & he said go for it! He joking can't wait until I become his sugar mama...;) So im working on my undergraduate stuff, trying to get it together.......One Problem with all of that greatness.... I HAVE SO MUCH THAT I WANT TO DO!!!!!
Is it possible to help raise a 3 year old lil angel, get my Bachelors, have a baby, and attend Dental School for 4 years? And then there is the possible deployment next year..... All in God's timing... His perfect plan and i'll have to wait and see what that is.... Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything! :)
I know God has a perfect plan for me, one day at a time, i have HUGE dreams, and if He allows me to do all that above He will be right there with me.... & what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Considering Law School....
Well after the month I've had if i didn't want to be an orthodontist so bad i would be a lawyer.... i have seen more of the court system, civilly and criminally that i care too, and for my convience i guess my government class is learning about the Criminal court system and the Civil Cases System.... woo flippin hoo...
Most of you know that we are going thru a custody BATTLE to the death it seems, a bunch of he said she said crap that honestly no one wants to listen too but nosey people, and im sure either of the Judges is going to look at us with all our drama and laugh, tap the gavel and give us equal rights to our child, but that is because with all the gossip he has already heard both sides.....which brings me to my next court complaint and gossip happening 3 hours away.... For those of you who don't know, my very best ex boyfriend, best friend was murdered a year ago and his murderer took a plea bargain of 20 years.... & i wish he would never see the light of day, he will mostly likely (unless he acts up) not serve even half his time.... but the Lord will judge him when his time comes.... maybe 20 years is what he needs to turn his life around, and while i haven't forgiven or forgotten, im working on it, and im sure you can only imagine what Ashley's family is going thru, but to top their pain off they have a few "wannabe" friends of Ashley's running their mouth to make themselves feel in the know.... ridiculous.... leave it alone! & them...
Needless to say in both cases i feel helpless bc i want to solve not only my husbands issue but i want to solve my 2nd family's issues too... which only leaves me with shot nerves, heartburn like a mother, an upset stomach, and my weight rapidly decreasing in an unhealthy way(not eating or nothing stays down).... but the Lord keeps reminding me to STOP, BREATHE, and PRAY and not to worry! HE is carrying me right now, this is certain!
I can't say that im perfect and that the devil hasn't entered my mind and taken over, but GOOD always prevails and God steps in to say "HEY THERE BUDDY GET TO STEPPIN, THIS ONE BELONGS TO ME!" just figured i would let ya'll in on whats going on in my crazy life and head.... Remember God is good all the time, he don't bless ugly, and vengance is his, in his time!"
Most of you know that we are going thru a custody BATTLE to the death it seems, a bunch of he said she said crap that honestly no one wants to listen too but nosey people, and im sure either of the Judges is going to look at us with all our drama and laugh, tap the gavel and give us equal rights to our child, but that is because with all the gossip he has already heard both sides.....which brings me to my next court complaint and gossip happening 3 hours away.... For those of you who don't know, my very best ex boyfriend, best friend was murdered a year ago and his murderer took a plea bargain of 20 years.... & i wish he would never see the light of day, he will mostly likely (unless he acts up) not serve even half his time.... but the Lord will judge him when his time comes.... maybe 20 years is what he needs to turn his life around, and while i haven't forgiven or forgotten, im working on it, and im sure you can only imagine what Ashley's family is going thru, but to top their pain off they have a few "wannabe" friends of Ashley's running their mouth to make themselves feel in the know.... ridiculous.... leave it alone! & them...
Needless to say in both cases i feel helpless bc i want to solve not only my husbands issue but i want to solve my 2nd family's issues too... which only leaves me with shot nerves, heartburn like a mother, an upset stomach, and my weight rapidly decreasing in an unhealthy way(not eating or nothing stays down).... but the Lord keeps reminding me to STOP, BREATHE, and PRAY and not to worry! HE is carrying me right now, this is certain!
I can't say that im perfect and that the devil hasn't entered my mind and taken over, but GOOD always prevails and God steps in to say "HEY THERE BUDDY GET TO STEPPIN, THIS ONE BELONGS TO ME!" just figured i would let ya'll in on whats going on in my crazy life and head.... Remember God is good all the time, he don't bless ugly, and vengance is his, in his time!"
Sunday, March 13, 2011
HEARTBURN.....literally
Most of you who know me know that i should be in a bubble... im ALWAYS, repeat ALWAYS sick, allergic to something around me, i carry an Epi-pen, my nightly medication routine for my ailments could almost pass for a pharmacy minus the narcotics and crazy medicine... im a mess.... so it comes as no surprise that i have G.E.R.D, Gastroesphogeal Reflux Disease & HEARTBURN! Thanks mom, grandma, and my oldest sister Brandi for passing that fine gene on down to me! ;) so like the above people i finally gave in and went to see a Gastroenterologist. He told me that after an EGD i might be a good candidate for a surgery so that i wouldn't be on medication for the rest of my life... so i had the EGD, and they inserted a PHbravo monitor in my esophogus.... surprisingly i didn't not have a hiatal hernia and the whole time i wore that stinkin monitor my GERD and Heartburn seemed to disappear... funny how that is always the case.... but as we speak my throat is on fire and nothing is working, im still off my meds, my doc hasn't called back and im tired and hungry and this stinks.... all that said i do know what is causing all this heartburn .... litteral HEARTburn aka STRESS & WORRY!
God tells us not to worry about anything, instead pray about everything and believe me i do my fair share of praying, but im really working on this worrying thing... between custody issues, trial court for Ashley, school, finances, missing my husband, missing my friends and family, im again a huge mess.... but you can bet im praying.... and hoping you who are reading this will pray for me too.... now I won't know what the doc tells me until the morning, or how things are going to go in either court, but i do KNOW that i can rely on God's promise to be with me no matter the outcome and that it is all in His perfect plan... & i can start changing my daily habits to help relieve some of that stress while preparing for things i MUST get ready for.... like working out... so starting at 0830 im putting on my new bathingsuit and heading up to Fit & Wise to do a little water working out, and i can stop eating so late, i can stop eating things that affect my GERD...for example Casa Torres Hot Sauce all throughout the day, i can cut out greasy foods, sour or powdery candy, Carbonated Drinks (this will be hard).... all of these things will im sure get me "summer ready," better able to pass my PFT, better nights sleep, more energy, a healthy body to help produce a health baby (#1 reason), and make me happy...God will handle the rest... Im certain... while litterally my chest and esophogus feel as if the devil brought me a present from the underworld (fire), I know God will extinguish it when i let Him take control over what i can't control and fix the things i can...
God tells us not to worry about anything, instead pray about everything and believe me i do my fair share of praying, but im really working on this worrying thing... between custody issues, trial court for Ashley, school, finances, missing my husband, missing my friends and family, im again a huge mess.... but you can bet im praying.... and hoping you who are reading this will pray for me too.... now I won't know what the doc tells me until the morning, or how things are going to go in either court, but i do KNOW that i can rely on God's promise to be with me no matter the outcome and that it is all in His perfect plan... & i can start changing my daily habits to help relieve some of that stress while preparing for things i MUST get ready for.... like working out... so starting at 0830 im putting on my new bathingsuit and heading up to Fit & Wise to do a little water working out, and i can stop eating so late, i can stop eating things that affect my GERD...for example Casa Torres Hot Sauce all throughout the day, i can cut out greasy foods, sour or powdery candy, Carbonated Drinks (this will be hard).... all of these things will im sure get me "summer ready," better able to pass my PFT, better nights sleep, more energy, a healthy body to help produce a health baby (#1 reason), and make me happy...God will handle the rest... Im certain... while litterally my chest and esophogus feel as if the devil brought me a present from the underworld (fire), I know God will extinguish it when i let Him take control over what i can't control and fix the things i can...
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Forgiveness
The past will always come back to haunt you.... everyone does things they aren't proud of... and i certainly do not condone actions of evil or hate, but i do know that thru God EVERYONE can and will be forgiven... Im not saying forget, im saying FORGIVE and move on.... Im just as guilty for not always practicing what i just preached... but i am certainly learning to work on it...
There are two sides to every story... and just because you think you know what went on because you heard it from the person it supposedly happened too, you are rarely getting ALL the facts...
Over the years i have forgiven a lot of people for a lot of things... i have turned the other cheek, i have befriended people who have said and done some awful and hateful things... while obviously its still hard to forget i believe that i have shown a few people what forgiveness really is all about.... im speaking on this bc today my heart was really hurt, even though i set myself up to feel that hurt, it hurts nonetheless... & it had nothing to do with my past mistakes but the mistake of someone i love very much... & i have heard it before and have gotten every side of the story that i think is possible to get but condeming that person for something done a few years ago is really getting OLD... im sure we all have things in our closets we are proud of bearing, and for the record this person has apparently changed in such a way that i don't have a clue what these people are talking about... i don't see this person or that something that awful could be done by this person.... and i give that credit to God for either saving them or making them strong enough to withstand the lies and nasty things that are credited to this person's name. Either way, God is the only person to judge the character of people, he tells us in Colossians 3 verse 13, "accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive"
We can all spout of verses from the Bible, like and listen to Christian music, attend church everytime the door opens, and do good deeds, but if we aren't doing what the Lord says to do, or acting Monday - Saturday the way the Lord tells us to act as Christians then we really aren't pleasing the Lord. We aren't following the guidelines he set out for us... Forgiveness is only the tip of an enormous iceburg, but maybe for all of those who point the finger need to take a step back and see what the Lord has had to forgive you for, because remember even if you only think it and don't act on it, its just the same as doing it... gut check time.... that goes for me aswell... don't let others run over you but don't be so self righteous that you think you are in the category to judge someone... no one is....
There are two sides to every story... and just because you think you know what went on because you heard it from the person it supposedly happened too, you are rarely getting ALL the facts...
Over the years i have forgiven a lot of people for a lot of things... i have turned the other cheek, i have befriended people who have said and done some awful and hateful things... while obviously its still hard to forget i believe that i have shown a few people what forgiveness really is all about.... im speaking on this bc today my heart was really hurt, even though i set myself up to feel that hurt, it hurts nonetheless... & it had nothing to do with my past mistakes but the mistake of someone i love very much... & i have heard it before and have gotten every side of the story that i think is possible to get but condeming that person for something done a few years ago is really getting OLD... im sure we all have things in our closets we are proud of bearing, and for the record this person has apparently changed in such a way that i don't have a clue what these people are talking about... i don't see this person or that something that awful could be done by this person.... and i give that credit to God for either saving them or making them strong enough to withstand the lies and nasty things that are credited to this person's name. Either way, God is the only person to judge the character of people, he tells us in Colossians 3 verse 13, "accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive"
We can all spout of verses from the Bible, like and listen to Christian music, attend church everytime the door opens, and do good deeds, but if we aren't doing what the Lord says to do, or acting Monday - Saturday the way the Lord tells us to act as Christians then we really aren't pleasing the Lord. We aren't following the guidelines he set out for us... Forgiveness is only the tip of an enormous iceburg, but maybe for all of those who point the finger need to take a step back and see what the Lord has had to forgive you for, because remember even if you only think it and don't act on it, its just the same as doing it... gut check time.... that goes for me aswell... don't let others run over you but don't be so self righteous that you think you are in the category to judge someone... no one is....
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Handpicked by God....why would you question what HE decided?
Let's see... where to begin.... I should start by saying that you should probably be thankful that it has been a little over 9 days or so since i last blogged... it would have been nothing but poor pitiful Dani and how awful the last 7 days that should have been awesome with my husband home were... & while he wasn't the cause for most... we both endured A LOT to say the least while he was home.... the good thing out of this 7 days is as follows,
1. Reid and I are both alive
2. We got Nati a grand total of 2 days
3. We worked on MCMAP and I got to sweep him to the deck!
4. We both got to attend church on Sunday
5. We ate at Raymonds BBQ, Texas Roadhouse, Grandma Rosie & PawPaw's house, Buffalo Wild Wings
6. Everything we endured we endured TOGETHER
Now, after listing all that its very hard for me to even remember the bad... but its still there.... now i understand that i have not yet experienced birthing a child of my own... but I AM a parent... my "mommying" instincts kicked in long before i met Reid (you could ask a couple of exboyfriends & they would laughingly agree)... & Reid has experienced fathering a child -- imagine loving a child and your LOVE, devotion, Character and everything regarding what you do everyday to provide or make your child's life better suddenly is questioned by a lawyer getting only ONE side to the story.... this is what happened on our 7 days together.... it hurt... that someone WHO KNOWS that Reid and I are good parents asked that we write a statement about why he (we) DESERVES his child for standard visitation and joint rights.... just like providing sperm doesn't make someone a father, birthing a child doesn't make someone a mother....& when you are too busy "show boating" that you are single mom doing ALL on your own with family help and the child support i write every month doesn't mean you are the only person entitled to that child..... it took an egg and it took a sperm and together a child was made... God made it so... because believe me if i could bring a child into this world all on my own i would have done so a long time ago....im going to get real honest here... and i intend to hurt NO ONE... but i was raised by my mother, she was raised by her father.... from her broken home to mine God gave me something amazing from it... a different way of thinking... see long before I was born God knew that i would be here today.... he knew I would be Nati's (step)mommy... like my mother who could have dwelled on the fact that she didn't have her own mom to raise her she focused on how lucky she was to have her daddy to step up and do that job... and i could be bitter and angry that my dad wasn't always there and that i didn't have a constant father figure but my focus is on that my mother is the QUEEN of ALL mothers... she gave me all i needed and wanted no matter the cost to her... she pushed me to go to my dad's when i didn't want too, she never ever bad mouthed him to me, she assured us that they both loved us so much, my mom gave me the option to learn and think on my own.... I was 9 when my parents divorced, it was awful, i was embarrassed, confused, guilty.... now i know it wasn't my fault but that was because i had reassurance, at 9 i wasn't ready to make a decision on my mom or dad.... at 15 i really wasn't either.... so certainly at 3 that isn't the age to decide.... but a parent that keeps their child away from another willing, capable, wanting, providing, loving & descent parent has ZERO concept of what being a parent is all about.... it isn't about you or even the other party, it isn't about what was done to you or what wasn't done it is about what that child needs.... a mother & a father... okay okay and a Dani ;)..... because just because you 2 didn't make it, or don't get along doesn't mean they don't love their child... in fact sometimes the decison to walk away is the best thing 2 parents can do for their children... i know this bc i think for me and my sisters it was.....God handpicked 2 people in this world from millions to be parents to a child... who are either one of you to say God made a wrong decison, who is anyone to question God and who He chose by their love, their character, their beliefs... He chose them He picked you both He saw it coming before yor grandparents were born, being a parent is God given.... trust in Him, have faith that He made the most perfect choice for your child, & stop the madness, stop the childishness, stop telling him He is wrong! Bc if it weren't for BOTH of you that beautiful child wouldn't be here.....
1. Reid and I are both alive
2. We got Nati a grand total of 2 days
3. We worked on MCMAP and I got to sweep him to the deck!
4. We both got to attend church on Sunday
5. We ate at Raymonds BBQ, Texas Roadhouse, Grandma Rosie & PawPaw's house, Buffalo Wild Wings
6. Everything we endured we endured TOGETHER
Now, after listing all that its very hard for me to even remember the bad... but its still there.... now i understand that i have not yet experienced birthing a child of my own... but I AM a parent... my "mommying" instincts kicked in long before i met Reid (you could ask a couple of exboyfriends & they would laughingly agree)... & Reid has experienced fathering a child -- imagine loving a child and your LOVE, devotion, Character and everything regarding what you do everyday to provide or make your child's life better suddenly is questioned by a lawyer getting only ONE side to the story.... this is what happened on our 7 days together.... it hurt... that someone WHO KNOWS that Reid and I are good parents asked that we write a statement about why he (we) DESERVES his child for standard visitation and joint rights.... just like providing sperm doesn't make someone a father, birthing a child doesn't make someone a mother....& when you are too busy "show boating" that you are single mom doing ALL on your own with family help and the child support i write every month doesn't mean you are the only person entitled to that child..... it took an egg and it took a sperm and together a child was made... God made it so... because believe me if i could bring a child into this world all on my own i would have done so a long time ago....im going to get real honest here... and i intend to hurt NO ONE... but i was raised by my mother, she was raised by her father.... from her broken home to mine God gave me something amazing from it... a different way of thinking... see long before I was born God knew that i would be here today.... he knew I would be Nati's (step)mommy... like my mother who could have dwelled on the fact that she didn't have her own mom to raise her she focused on how lucky she was to have her daddy to step up and do that job... and i could be bitter and angry that my dad wasn't always there and that i didn't have a constant father figure but my focus is on that my mother is the QUEEN of ALL mothers... she gave me all i needed and wanted no matter the cost to her... she pushed me to go to my dad's when i didn't want too, she never ever bad mouthed him to me, she assured us that they both loved us so much, my mom gave me the option to learn and think on my own.... I was 9 when my parents divorced, it was awful, i was embarrassed, confused, guilty.... now i know it wasn't my fault but that was because i had reassurance, at 9 i wasn't ready to make a decision on my mom or dad.... at 15 i really wasn't either.... so certainly at 3 that isn't the age to decide.... but a parent that keeps their child away from another willing, capable, wanting, providing, loving & descent parent has ZERO concept of what being a parent is all about.... it isn't about you or even the other party, it isn't about what was done to you or what wasn't done it is about what that child needs.... a mother & a father... okay okay and a Dani ;)..... because just because you 2 didn't make it, or don't get along doesn't mean they don't love their child... in fact sometimes the decison to walk away is the best thing 2 parents can do for their children... i know this bc i think for me and my sisters it was.....God handpicked 2 people in this world from millions to be parents to a child... who are either one of you to say God made a wrong decison, who is anyone to question God and who He chose by their love, their character, their beliefs... He chose them He picked you both He saw it coming before yor grandparents were born, being a parent is God given.... trust in Him, have faith that He made the most perfect choice for your child, & stop the madness, stop the childishness, stop telling him He is wrong! Bc if it weren't for BOTH of you that beautiful child wouldn't be here.....
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
I wonder why people aren't getting the memo here?
"Karma-What goes around, comes around."
"Don't throw stones if you live in a glass house."
"The truth ALWAYS comes out!"
So now im wondering why people don't heed these warnings.... why must people take the hard road only to end up getting hurt. I have always had the knack for needing to learn the hard way, and i guess my belief in what i was doing was always my reason. But truth, should always come before "our reasoning," and certainly God's reasoning, way, & truth should ALWAYS come before our own. That is why we should always be talking to God about what He wants us to do, what He has planned.
Had an interesting day, a day that hopefully aids me for the rest of my life... things aren't always what they seem and that people who you never thought would, can surprise you. To say i got some "inside" info today was an understatement. I hit the motherload of information when it comes to a certain topic that is highly prevalent in my life right now... i didn't like the info that i was given, i certainly didn't expect this information, and maybe it is only info that will never get to be "used" bc it isn't in print, but the source is legit. i have been looking thru the Bible to see what God says i should do with this info.... since it is considered hearsay [truthful hearsay] but i can't seem to find anything. I did find in Romans 15: 3-6 "...The insults of those who insult You have fallen on Me. For whatever was written before was written for our instruction, so that through our endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we may have hope. Now may the God of endurance and encouragement grant you agreement with one another, according to Christ Jesus, so that you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ with a united mind and voice."
If only the 3 of us could have a united mind, right now that just doesn't look promising. With that said, it does give me something new to pray for everyday along with my initial reaction to confront people even if i don't like confrontation. I want folks to know when i know something about them, good or bad... i rarely leavw anything in my back pocket... i would rather them go in knowing i know what i know, rather than me whipping it out at any given moment, i think its a desire to let them go a head and make the right decision without letting other know their indescretions.... a chance to make it right.... Either way just remember, "A picture is worth a thousand words, pretty is as pretty does, and before you cast the first stone.... make sure you don't live in glass house, because karma, will always come back to bite ya.
"For it is written Vengance belongs to me; i will repay," says the Lord" Romans 12:19
"Don't throw stones if you live in a glass house."
"The truth ALWAYS comes out!"
So now im wondering why people don't heed these warnings.... why must people take the hard road only to end up getting hurt. I have always had the knack for needing to learn the hard way, and i guess my belief in what i was doing was always my reason. But truth, should always come before "our reasoning," and certainly God's reasoning, way, & truth should ALWAYS come before our own. That is why we should always be talking to God about what He wants us to do, what He has planned.
Had an interesting day, a day that hopefully aids me for the rest of my life... things aren't always what they seem and that people who you never thought would, can surprise you. To say i got some "inside" info today was an understatement. I hit the motherload of information when it comes to a certain topic that is highly prevalent in my life right now... i didn't like the info that i was given, i certainly didn't expect this information, and maybe it is only info that will never get to be "used" bc it isn't in print, but the source is legit. i have been looking thru the Bible to see what God says i should do with this info.... since it is considered hearsay [truthful hearsay] but i can't seem to find anything. I did find in Romans 15: 3-6 "...The insults of those who insult You have fallen on Me. For whatever was written before was written for our instruction, so that through our endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we may have hope. Now may the God of endurance and encouragement grant you agreement with one another, according to Christ Jesus, so that you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ with a united mind and voice."
If only the 3 of us could have a united mind, right now that just doesn't look promising. With that said, it does give me something new to pray for everyday along with my initial reaction to confront people even if i don't like confrontation. I want folks to know when i know something about them, good or bad... i rarely leavw anything in my back pocket... i would rather them go in knowing i know what i know, rather than me whipping it out at any given moment, i think its a desire to let them go a head and make the right decision without letting other know their indescretions.... a chance to make it right.... Either way just remember, "A picture is worth a thousand words, pretty is as pretty does, and before you cast the first stone.... make sure you don't live in glass house, because karma, will always come back to bite ya.
"For it is written Vengance belongs to me; i will repay," says the Lord" Romans 12:19
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
[F]ully [R]elying [O]n [G]od
Jeremiah 29:11 is probably my favorite verse. "For I know the plans I have for you"---this is the Lord's declaration--"plans for your welfare,not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope"
Remembering this during a time of hardship is difficut sometimes, but most of the time this is my weapon of choice against the devil when i feel like he is trying to discourage me... & boy does he know how to weasel his way in there sometimes and get my hopes all up only to laugh in my face.... stupid devil... he honestly thinks he can win my heart over... Im speaking on the topic of wanting babies..;)
i can want all day long but until God's timing is right for Reid and I we will enjoy our time with just one beautiful little miracle, Nati Marie. I have been with Nati since she was about 1 year and 1 month old... & that makes it easier for both of us im sure because she hasn't really known a life without her Dani and never will--- this little girl makes my world go round, she is nothing short of a blessing from God... Reid tells me all the time that i only married him for Nati or that he never has to worry about me divorcing him because he knows I'd never risk losing Nati ;) smart man huh!? :P joking aside, she is the light of my life other than him and of course Ollie...
Backstory:[not meant to be a sob story] but due to a tubal pregancy in 2008 i only have one fallopian tube (good ole lefty) and have been told that it might be a little more difficult to get pregnant and then in 2010 Reid and I suffered a miscarriage at 8 weeks... God has plan, I am sure of this, and my faith lets me know that He will give me a beautiful son or daughter someday [soon preferably, can you tell sometimes i am impatient] but He will just like He gave Sarah & Abraham a son at 90 & 100 years old.... Faith is such a small word for such a big thing... Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen." I preach this on the daily to my husband, "Just have faith, even faith as small as a mustard seed & God will do amazing things for us!" I have seen it work----in finances, for friends, for health, --- Faith that God will always provide as long as we take it to Him, give it to Him... & not some of it but ALL of it! That doesn't mean that sometimes i won't be discouraged or get my hopes up, but when that happens just shake it off and keep going, pray, and know God has an amazing FUTURE in HIM planned for me.... Doctors have said that they see no problem in my carrying a child, family has said they wanted me to wait to heal, friends are praying that im next, not so nice people have said "to get over it," but God tells me he has a plan to prosper me to give me a hope and a future and for me i know that includes giving Natalee a little brother (hopefully) or sister... for anyone reading this who is going thru a similar if not the same situation just know Jeremiah 29:11 can be applied to everything... even a Government test that i should have studied a little bit for today ;) Nothing is too BIG or too small for God... the Ultimate Problem Solver.
"Keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of God's throne." Hebrews 12:2
Remembering this during a time of hardship is difficut sometimes, but most of the time this is my weapon of choice against the devil when i feel like he is trying to discourage me... & boy does he know how to weasel his way in there sometimes and get my hopes all up only to laugh in my face.... stupid devil... he honestly thinks he can win my heart over... Im speaking on the topic of wanting babies..;)
i can want all day long but until God's timing is right for Reid and I we will enjoy our time with just one beautiful little miracle, Nati Marie. I have been with Nati since she was about 1 year and 1 month old... & that makes it easier for both of us im sure because she hasn't really known a life without her Dani and never will--- this little girl makes my world go round, she is nothing short of a blessing from God... Reid tells me all the time that i only married him for Nati or that he never has to worry about me divorcing him because he knows I'd never risk losing Nati ;) smart man huh!? :P joking aside, she is the light of my life other than him and of course Ollie...
Backstory:[not meant to be a sob story] but due to a tubal pregancy in 2008 i only have one fallopian tube (good ole lefty) and have been told that it might be a little more difficult to get pregnant and then in 2010 Reid and I suffered a miscarriage at 8 weeks... God has plan, I am sure of this, and my faith lets me know that He will give me a beautiful son or daughter someday [soon preferably, can you tell sometimes i am impatient] but He will just like He gave Sarah & Abraham a son at 90 & 100 years old.... Faith is such a small word for such a big thing... Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen." I preach this on the daily to my husband, "Just have faith, even faith as small as a mustard seed & God will do amazing things for us!" I have seen it work----in finances, for friends, for health, --- Faith that God will always provide as long as we take it to Him, give it to Him... & not some of it but ALL of it! That doesn't mean that sometimes i won't be discouraged or get my hopes up, but when that happens just shake it off and keep going, pray, and know God has an amazing FUTURE in HIM planned for me.... Doctors have said that they see no problem in my carrying a child, family has said they wanted me to wait to heal, friends are praying that im next, not so nice people have said "to get over it," but God tells me he has a plan to prosper me to give me a hope and a future and for me i know that includes giving Natalee a little brother (hopefully) or sister... for anyone reading this who is going thru a similar if not the same situation just know Jeremiah 29:11 can be applied to everything... even a Government test that i should have studied a little bit for today ;) Nothing is too BIG or too small for God... the Ultimate Problem Solver.
"Keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of God's throne." Hebrews 12:2
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Pretty is as Pretty Does
More than once I have heard this come out of my mama and my grandma's mouth. It is something that has stuck with me. Have you ever met someone so gorgeous or handsome and then because of their actions you can't believe that something so Ugly could ever come out of someone like that? I have & on more than one occasion...
The purpose of this blog came to me while listening to Kari Jobe and having my quiet time with the Lord. Reid and I are facing some challenges (together) and its time to take ALL of them to the Lord. My step-mom in law??(is this right) LOL or MY Marie told me that, "God don't bless Ugly!" It was amazing that another one of my mom figures would quote this to me! It brought back memories of me behaving badly and mom or grandma telling me, "Pretty is as Pretty does Danielle!" Although, Marie and I weren't necessarily talking about me or my actions at the time it made me think about the fact that I can not control the actions of others, but I can control the actions of Dani! ;) Yes, finally, I realized it! I can't make someone do what I want them to do or even what I know is best. However, I can control how I react or don't react! That I can pray for them and for me. I will probably struggle with this because of course Im ALWAYS right, right? Wrong, sometimes its something my drill instructors would say to us, "Good intentions, Bad Judgement!"
With all that said, I named this Pretty is as Pretty Does because I want to be pretty inside and out, pretty for the Lord in spirit , pretty in what I speak, pretty in how I carry myself, pretty in how I set an example for my daughter (Nati), my neices, or for strangers I have never met, & of course to feel pretty about myself on the outside! It is my hope that atleast one person will benefit from this, even if that one person is only me...
"They conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they did not love their lives in the face of death." Revelation 12:11
The purpose of this blog came to me while listening to Kari Jobe and having my quiet time with the Lord. Reid and I are facing some challenges (together) and its time to take ALL of them to the Lord. My step-mom in law??(is this right) LOL or MY Marie told me that, "God don't bless Ugly!" It was amazing that another one of my mom figures would quote this to me! It brought back memories of me behaving badly and mom or grandma telling me, "Pretty is as Pretty does Danielle!" Although, Marie and I weren't necessarily talking about me or my actions at the time it made me think about the fact that I can not control the actions of others, but I can control the actions of Dani! ;) Yes, finally, I realized it! I can't make someone do what I want them to do or even what I know is best. However, I can control how I react or don't react! That I can pray for them and for me. I will probably struggle with this because of course Im ALWAYS right, right? Wrong, sometimes its something my drill instructors would say to us, "Good intentions, Bad Judgement!"
With all that said, I named this Pretty is as Pretty Does because I want to be pretty inside and out, pretty for the Lord in spirit , pretty in what I speak, pretty in how I carry myself, pretty in how I set an example for my daughter (Nati), my neices, or for strangers I have never met, & of course to feel pretty about myself on the outside! It is my hope that atleast one person will benefit from this, even if that one person is only me...
"They conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they did not love their lives in the face of death." Revelation 12:11
Ordinary to EXTRAordinary!
After today I knew the Lord was speaking to me. "Come Back to me!" he was saying! Often I find that I will get into God's word just to have something come in and pull me away. It may not even seem malicious, & I certainly don't mean to let homework, school, TV shows, Facebook, concerning myself with others, cleaning house or anything else take over my quiet time with God, it just happens. John 10:10 says, "A thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy," Oh how true that is! I actually sometimes feel like I notice when I am not in God's word everyday- Suddenly stupid things are more important than ever- a hold the devil brings over my mind. I am certainly not proud of this, but now I AM AWARE! Today I attended a conference at my church, Christa asked us if there was an area in our lives where we needed to be healed. Now, I know that God is a healer, I know that he performs miracles everyday, my faith relies on "knowing" these things, knowing what my God can do. But today as I stood there singing, I was overwhelmed with God's voice saying, "HEY DANI, COME BACK! ALL THAT ANGER, FRUSTRATION, SADNESS, & WORRY YOU DEALING WITH, UMM I CAN HANDLE IT IF YOU JUST GIVE IT TO ME. YOU HAVE TIME FOR EVERYTHING ELSE, COME BACK AND MAKE TIME FOR ME AGAIN!" Simple and to the point! There are so many things that I NEED to accomplish throughout the day, but honestly with out Him, without his guidance (daily & sometimes hourly) it will mean nothing. So after today, starting tonight I'm going to make my ordinary life EXTRAORDINARY by making time for God, asking for his advice in every decision throughout my day no matter how BIG or how small!
So I'm starting this Blog to track my progress, to tell others what God is doing in my life, my family, in my own heart. A more formal introduction will follow shortly, but I knew this needed to be the first of many entries.
"For the Lord does not give us a spirit of fear or timidity, but one of POWER, LOVE, & SELF DISCIPLINE!" 2 Timothy 1:7
So I'm starting this Blog to track my progress, to tell others what God is doing in my life, my family, in my own heart. A more formal introduction will follow shortly, but I knew this needed to be the first of many entries.
"For the Lord does not give us a spirit of fear or timidity, but one of POWER, LOVE, & SELF DISCIPLINE!" 2 Timothy 1:7
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