Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Handpicked by God....why would you question what HE decided?

Let's see... where to begin.... I should start by saying that you should probably be thankful that it has been a little over 9 days or so since i last blogged... it would have been nothing but poor pitiful Dani and how awful the last 7 days that should have been awesome with my husband home were... & while he wasn't the cause for most... we both endured A LOT to say the least while he was home.... the good thing out of this 7 days is as follows,
1. Reid and I are both alive
2. We got Nati a grand total of 2 days
3. We worked on MCMAP and I got to sweep him to the deck!
4. We both got to attend church on Sunday
5. We ate at Raymonds BBQ, Texas Roadhouse, Grandma Rosie & PawPaw's house, Buffalo Wild Wings
6. Everything we endured we endured TOGETHER

Now, after listing all that its very hard for me to even remember the bad... but its still there.... now i understand that i have not yet experienced birthing a child of my own... but I AM a parent... my "mommying" instincts kicked in long before i met Reid (you could ask a couple of exboyfriends & they would laughingly agree)... & Reid has experienced fathering a child -- imagine loving a child and your LOVE, devotion, Character and everything regarding what you do everyday to provide or make your child's life better suddenly is questioned by a lawyer getting only ONE side to the story.... this is what happened on our 7 days together.... it hurt... that someone WHO KNOWS that Reid and I are good parents asked that we write a statement about why he (we) DESERVES his child for standard visitation and joint rights.... just like providing sperm doesn't make someone a father, birthing a child doesn't make someone a mother....& when you are too busy "show boating" that you are single mom doing ALL on your own with family help and the child support i write every month doesn't mean you are the only person entitled to that child..... it took an egg and it took a sperm and together a child was made... God made it so... because believe me if i could bring a child into this world all on my own i would have done so a long time ago....im going to get real honest here... and i intend to hurt NO ONE... but  i was raised by my mother, she was raised by her father.... from her broken home to mine God gave me something amazing from it... a different way of thinking... see long before I was born God knew that i would be here today.... he knew I would be Nati's (step)mommy... like my mother who could have dwelled on the fact that she didn't have her own mom to raise her she focused on how lucky she was to have her daddy to step up and do that job... and i could be bitter and angry that my dad wasn't always there and that i didn't have a constant father figure but my focus is on that my mother is the QUEEN of ALL mothers... she gave me all i needed and wanted no matter the cost to her... she pushed me to go to my dad's when i didn't want too, she never ever bad mouthed him to me, she assured us that they both loved us so much, my mom gave me the option to learn and think on my own.... I was 9 when my parents divorced, it was awful, i was embarrassed, confused, guilty.... now i know it wasn't my fault but that was because i had reassurance, at 9 i wasn't ready to make a decision on my mom or dad.... at 15 i really wasn't either.... so certainly at 3 that isn't the age to decide.... but a parent that keeps their child away from another willing, capable, wanting, providing, loving & descent parent has ZERO concept of what being a parent is all about.... it isn't about you or even the other party, it isn't about what was done to you or what wasn't done it is about what that child needs.... a mother & a father... okay okay and a Dani ;)..... because just because you 2 didn't make it, or don't get along doesn't mean they don't love their child... in fact sometimes the decison to walk away  is the best thing 2 parents can do for their children... i know this bc i think for me and my sisters it was.....God handpicked 2 people in this world from millions to be parents to a child... who are either one of you to say God made a wrong decison, who is anyone to question God and who He chose by their love, their character, their beliefs... He chose them He picked you both He saw it coming before yor grandparents were born, being a parent is God given.... trust in Him, have faith that He made the most perfect choice for your child, & stop the madness, stop the childishness, stop telling him He is wrong! Bc if it weren't for BOTH of you that beautiful child wouldn't be here.....

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